Saturday Morning Chit Chat, Mirror, Mirror, Me

Mirror Man Seattle by Jim Hamstra

I’m in the middle of a home renovations, I’m launching a new project and it’s also one of the busiest times of year for my day job. So regrettably, I won’t be able to do my regular Saturday Morning Chit Chat posts for the next few weeks. BUT, I see so many interesting things, even when I’m doing my best NOT to, that I still want to share some of what I come across.

mirrorman_02
Photographer SilverSky

This week I came across the mirror men. These amazing images are of real people, not sculptures I found them while playing on the internet. As cool as these moving sculptures are, they didn’t make me think of art as much they made me reflect (couldn’t resist) on what social creatures we are. They make me wonder how much of ourselves we put out there and how much is a reflection of what’s around us. No, I’m not have a deep negative thought. I am actually just thinking that so much of what I see and know is a reflection of what the people around me see and know.  It’s kind of wonderful being connected in that way.  It’s also kind of exciting because I don’t just know the people who live in the cities and towns I’m in or around. I know some amazing and clever people who live miles and miles from me, in other countries and continents. They have completely different and informative perspectives on the world and they feed me knowledge that makes me see my world in a completely different way.

Do you have any people who reflect the world at you in a different way?  Seen anything cool, outrageous, clever or amazingly dumb while exploring the internet? Please, share it here.

To see more on these mirror men , you can visit the blogs where I found them below.

Jim Hamstra 1: http://jimhamstra.blogspot.ca/2011/08/mirror-man-seattle.html

Adriana de Barros 2:http://illusion.scene360.com/art/8454/the-mysterious-mirror-man-appears-in-l-a/

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Saturday Morning Chit Chat, Living Life With Flares

This image from June 20, 2013, at 11:15 p.m. EDT shows the bright light of a solar flare on the left side of the sun and an eruption of solar material shooting through the sun's atmosphere, called a prominence eruption.Do you remember all the stories that were prompted by solar flares back in the 70s? They were excellent, it was like the universe was sending us an amazing signal and it had the potential to change everything. Our watches would stop, our electricity would disappear and the world as we knew it would cease to be.  We would have a violence free apocalyptic moment and it would come out of the sky.

The visuals were spectacular, great orange geysers of gas exploding out from the sun. Giant oceans were boiling in the sky and sending spouts of change into our world. Nature was giving us a light show we would never forget. We quickly followed her lead and created stories great and not so great about life with flares. “Where Have All The People Gone”, released in 1974 told a dark and eerie tale of the disappearance of most of the Earth’s inhabitants as a result of those mysterious flares. From “Ringworld” to “Star Wars” we saw science fiction re-establish itself as a leading genre. The flares sparked our imagination.

One of my favorite movies about flares wasn’t actually made until 2000 and it’s called, “Frequency”. The film has a father and son talking to each other through time on an old radio because of the flares. I won’t get into the story, but it was fun. Mystery, magic, murder and mayhem, doesn’t get much better than that if you’re into science fiction.

So why am I telling you about flares? I was having a bit of a flare up myself reading some astoundingly irresponsible headlines that were reassuring the public that climate change was all a big misunderstanding and the Earth was actually cooling, when I decided I needed to do something to put myself in a better mood and went in search of science stories. I came across a treasure chest of hysterical flare stories that were centred around a prediction that some time in September 2013 we could see catastrophic destruction on Earth because of solar flares.  There were YouTube videos and articles about how flares were going to destroy satellite dishes and cause huge amounts of damage as they took out essential communications, potentially cutting off whole communities.  The American government was quietly ordering food to put in storage…I could go on.

I started laughing, it was like getting a chance to go back to childhood and see the solar stories from an adult’s perspective. I looked at NASA’s recent solar flare images and was enthralled with flares all over again. We live in an amazing world. It’s easy to get distracted and forget to take a look around and appreciate all the wonder, even the silly stories.

What about you? What does mother nature do that leaves you spellbound or captures your imagination?

Image: This image from June 20, 2013, at 11:15 p.m. EDT shows the bright light of a solar flare on the left side of the sun and an eruption of solar material shooting through the sun’s atmosphere, called a prominence eruption. Shortly thereafter, this same region of the sun sent a coronal mass ejection out into space. Credit: NASA/SDO

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Label Blindness – When You Become Trapped By Your Title

Have you ever worked with someone and thought, that guy is brilliant, I wonder where he’ll end up? Only to find out later that the person has been sitting in the same low-level position for years. Have you ever found yourself struggling for recognition and getting no response or acknowledgement of your efforts?  It never fails to amaze me when talent goes to waste, so I rarely stay quiet when I see it in play. I have argued with a boss to give one of my reports a raise because they were working well above their pay grade, while poorer performers were making more money. I have suggested to others that they would lose talent if they didn’t do something to acknowledge the contributions of loyal employees.

Sometimes circumstances mean that there simply isn’t a tangible way to thank staff members, either there’s no money, no way to give a promotion or change their title and so while they are verbally thanked, they get no other compensation for their efforts.

Then there are those occasions when a special kind of blindness happens that makes bosses, colleagues and even school systems unable to see a true performance or recognize intelligence. Scott Barry Kaufman speaks about this challenge in his book Ungifted. In it, he explores some of the challenges we face when we place labels on people.   What those labels do to our ability to assess intelligence and performance and how we can stifle ourselves by not looking past the label. Labels are handy and they help us to navigate, but they can also blind us to potential and deafen us to cries for help.

Barry challenges traditional intelligence assessment tools and looks at an array of other indicators that emphasize the importance of adaptation to task demands as the essence of intelligent functioning. More importantly for this discussion, he looks at personal goals and passion.  These can have a tremendous influence on performance.

When I argued with that old boss to recognize the contribution of a colleague his initial response was, she’s an assistant, she can’t make the same money as an executive assistant.  When I asked him to break down the responsibilities of the two titles and demonstrated that not only was my assistant performing similar tasks as an executive assistant, but in fact was performing beyond them he eventually had to relent and give her a raise, but he was reluctant.  She was by far more engaged, she enjoyed her work, she was not phased by the more mundane aspects of the job because they were part of the bigger challenge. The same could not be said about her colleagues.  In fact, the very behaviours that marked her as superior were spurned by her colleagues as “beneath them”. She easily our performed them. But her title made everyone blind to what the collective impact of her work was. So while titles seem like the least of the things you should worry about, they can have a profound and stifling effect on your career progress.

When labels become the predominant way you assess employee value it is not only limiting for the employee but can be devastating for an organization.  To put it bluntly, it’s a morale killer.  It sends a message to employees that they need not try if they don’t have the right title. It also gags those with the title who need help. Just as we can develop biases that make it impossible for us to see capacity.  We can also create unrealistic expectations because someone has a title, degree or another label. When that person needs additional support, they can feel pressured not to ask for it because expectations are so high.

The real challenge with using titles to define how we see people is that they make it impossible for us to actually see the person.  A label reflects a time and place, a specific set of circumstances and their outcome.  Labels rarely capture the essence of a person, their will, creativity or drive.  When I’m passionate about something and fully engaged, I show a dedication and focus that bears little to no resemblance to me when I’m uninterested or unimpressed.

There are a couple of things that you can do to avoid label blindness.

As an employee:

  • Learn to speak up for yourself. There are no magic job fairies.  It’s up to the employees to ask for that raise, promotion or recognition.
  • Build the ask into regular negotiations.  Set clear goals for yourself with your boss and when you meet them, ask for recognition in a form that suits you. It may seem like a hard thing to do, but it gets easier with time.
  • If despite your best efforts you’re still not recognized for your contribution then you have a few choices.  Accept it, be persistent or move on to another job.  Waiting too long rarely pays for itself and can lead to frustration, disappointment and disengagement.

As an employer or supervisor:

  • Remember that you hire the whole person not just the skills needed for the job that is currently open.
  • Employee resumes should be reviewed on an annual basis but more importantly, a fair and mutually established performance review with metrics should be used as well.  Consider compensation.  What can you do to acknowledge good performance?
  • If they are performing above their grade at your request, you need to acknowledge that work in some way or you will pay the high cost of turnover.

Have you ever had label blindness or been affected by it? What solutions do you find useful?

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Saturday Morning Chit Chat, Not Cultured Enough For Cultured Meat

English: A meat mincer. Español: Un picador de...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What do you do when your normally open mind, shuts down and goes on a break? I was listening to the radio when a story came on about in-vitro meat, also known as shmeat, cultured meat, hydroponic meat, cruelty-free meat, vat-grown meat, victimless meat and test-tube meat. The basic idea is that scientists or tissue engineers can grow edible meat in a lab from tissue samples.

It doesn’t take much imagination to see the implications. Suddenly all the concerns we have about how animals are treated could be addressed.  You could engineer meat without all of the normal chemicals and antibiotics.  It would benefit the planet in numerous ways.

So why am I grossed out?  Why does that sound like the least appetizing option I’ve ever been presented with? My attitude is pretty ridiculous…right?  I’d rather kill an animal than eat cultured meat? Was I a barbarian? In order to address the  sad realization that I had some questionable biases, I resigned myself to giving the idea more thought.  It was right around then that I came across a blog that suggested that not only was cultured meat a good idea, but if we developed it from human tissue it would be completely victimless. We could hardly claim animals gave consent to using their tissue but we could get informed consent from humans.  Essentially, it was a completely self-sufficient answer. It was the way of the future.  It was a mature, efficient, planet friendly solution to our desire to eat meat.

commstorm.comSo why does someone jokingly speculating that it would be the beginning of the zombie epidemic make strange, “call me a conspiracy theorist”, sense to me? What if that grown tissue didn’t stop growing?  What if we ate it and that flesh remained “alive” in us? What if it started to take over? I’m a pretty open minded person, honest, but this one just gives me the hives.  My husband has teased me about my Luddite attitude, but all I keep thinking is, “What!? Human meat! Eeeeeeeew, uh uh, no way, I am NOT eating Soylent Green!!!”

I can hear the waiter saying…”Would madame care for a little Caesar with her salad or will a grilled Frank be preferable? How about  a little Bertrand wrapped you?”

I think it’s time for me to consider vegetarianism.  It’s healthier, it’s delicious and I can go back to thinking I’m an open minded person because clearly, I’m not cultured enough for cultured meat.

So what about you?  Would you like to try some shmeat?

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Six Tips for Managing Difficult Conversations

difficult conversationsGetting started is the hardest part.  It’s getting past that awkward pause before you begin or worse still, explaining why you want to talk. Part of the challenge is that often by asking for the conversation, you end up having the conversation before you’re really ready. That’s something to avoid. No good comes from having the conversation when you’re not prepared. Of course, you could always hijack the other person into a discussion they didn’t anticipate. If that seems unfair, it’s because it is. You are also likely to end up in a defensive and angry discussion when resolving, revealing or relieving the issue  should be your first priority.

Some phrases to consider:

  • I’d like to talk to you about – but first I’d like your point of view.
  • I need your help with something. Can we talk about it soon?
  • I have something to discuss with you that I think will help us work together more effectively.
  • I think we have different perceptions about __ and I’d like to hear your thinking on it.

Pick your location wisely. Where a difficult conversation happens is often as important as how the conversation happens. It will hardly make the process easier for you if the setting is full of distractions. So start by ensuring that you are prepared to speak and that the setting is conducive to clear communication. In an office scenario I ask people out for coffee to avoid any possibility of being overheard. Being the centre of office gossip is only interesting on TV. I’ve sent someone away from their desk because their boss was having a discussion about them within their hearing. I then told the person having the discussion that others, including the subject of their discussion, could hear them and could they keep it down or move. I don’t think much of private discussions held in public.

There are always two people in a discussion. Remember that any discussion is a two-way activity. Although what you have to say may be weighing on your mind, you won’t know what is on the mind of the other person unless you give them room to speak.  Open the floor; ask them what they think about what was said and if they can think of a way for you both to resolve the issue. You may have a great idea, but they may have a better one.

Don’t spend too much time in a negative discussion. Give yourself time to talk but don’t give yourself too much time. What can be accomplished in 30 minutes can be undone in 60. Set another time to meet if you can’t get it all out.  This will give you a chance to cool down, consider the discussion and contemplate new solutions based on what you learned.

Get clarity and acknowledge emotions. One of the most effective ways of breaking down the negative rhetoric that comes from difficult conversations is repeating back to the person what you think you heard them say. A few years back, a colleague of mine was quite angry.  An important document had gotten mixed up with less important pieces and subsequently redirected to our correspondence unit. I answered the phone and was met with yelling. She was shouting at me about how important the document was and how time sensitive and how much trouble it had caused when it went missing, and then repeating.  In the middle of the second go around I said, “I know it was important and urgent, that’s why I sent it to you right away. Are you angry at me because a paper clip from another document in the envelope snagged it and so you mistakenly sent it to correspondence?”

There was a pause as she considered, then a very quiet, ‘“Yes.”

“Would you like me to staple documents in the future?” I asked. Again a pause, then a very calm “yes” followed.  The conversation ended shortly after that. Given our respective positions, the conversation made no sense, being angry, even less, but sometimes anxiety gets the best of you and before you know it, you’re having a difficult conversation.

If you’re thinking that I am naturally a calm person, you would be wrong. The only reason I wasn’t yelling back was because I have interpersonal communications training. What the exchange taught me was that the tactics work.  All my yelling would have done was escalate things and waste time in a pointless finger pointing activity. By keeping my tone even and paraphrasing what I heard, the discussion slowed and stopped.

There is power in being wrong. Perhaps one of the most difficult things about difficult conversations is acknowledging when you are wrong. We all take pride in our opinions and I think most people strive to do the right thing. So when you find yourself in a situation where you are wrong, it can be very challenging to acknowledge and to respond appropriately. The thing is, when you acknowledge you are wrong it can be such a powerful action, particularly as a leader. When you acknowledge you are wrong, it tells people who report to you that they can own up to mistakes too.  It tells colleagues that they can trust you to be fair and it tells bosses that if you don’t back down from an issue, it isn’t because of pride.

On a final note, don’t forget your body is in the conversation with you.  Make sure you are not sending one message with your body and another with your mouth – no arms folded across your chest.

Have you ever had to have a difficult conversation?  How did you handle it? There are many, many tips for managing difficult conversations, what are some of your best practices for dealing with tough discussions?

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Saturday Morning Chit Chat, Just A Minute…A Word On Procrastination

procrastinationSometimes you just need to celebrate the things that you are good at doing. It’s not really a self-indulgent romp or even an arrogant foray into self-centredness.  No, it’s really an honest and open acknowledgement of strength, a graceful nod to something you do well. I’m going to spend a small amount of time looking at a subject that I occasionally excel in, but also I want to acknowledge a few true masters of the art.  I want to look at the art of procrastination.

Who doesn’t love to indulge in the occasional moment of procrastination? At it’s core, procrastination is about taking your time, delaying the inevitable or avoiding it all together, if you are very clever.  Who doesn’t think the slow food movement is a great idea?  Aren’t we always being told to slow down and smell the coffee? Doing less has got to be a stress buster. Don’t we all want to take a deep breath and then do absolutely nothing? Who doesn’t enjoy a good tangent?

 “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”

Mark Twain

If you are really good at it, and I have aspired to master status on occasion, you can procrastinate for years.  It seems like a challenging feat I know, but with enough…drive (??) you too can delay doing all the things that are boring, tedious, of questionable value and dubious moral fibre. With time, focus and dedication, anyone can become a master procrastinator. In fact, you may have attained the status without knowing it. Are you frustrated by “early bird” specials? Are you usually politely late for dinner parties?

In fairness, I should point out that procrastination is in my genes. My family comes from Barbados and if you’ve ever been to the islands, you know that West Indians simply can’t be rushed. I was going to concert in Barbados with a cousin of mine a few years ago. It started at seven that night and that’s around the time he arrived home, then he took a shower and got changed. Then we had a drink. On our way to the concert, about nine, we saw a friend and stopped to chat. In the middle of the road, in our cars. We arrived at the concert around ten. The band hadn’t started playing yet.

“Bajan time real special, ya, it made for you and me,                                          and it ain’t got one damn thing to do with punctuality.”

Jeanette Layne-Clarke

Now some may scoff at the thought.  Who, they say with some contempt, would ever want to be a procrastinator? What good could ever come of it? Well, tell that to Richard Sheridan, a playwright and politician, who finished writing the final act of his play, The School for Scandal, while it was being performed. Can you imagine what the actors on stage were doing while waiting for their lines?  I hope they were good procrastinators.  Then there is Leonardo da Vinci, great art takes time, but 16 years to finish the Mona Lisa? It’s not that big. If he’s not a procrastinator, I don’t understand the meaning of the word. There are more of course, but I’ll have to share them with you later.

By the way, I was going to post this article last March during procrastination week, yes, that’s real, but…well, you know. If you’re looking for ways to be useful during your procrastination attempts, then wander over to Patricia Weber’s Blog, she has an excellent post called, “What is Productive Procrastination?”

If you’d enjoy a few minutes more of avoidance, then please listen to the following poem written by Jeanette Layne-Clarke  and read by Alfred Pragnell. It’s very funny and captures the spirit of how Bajan’s view time perfectly. The poem starts at the two minute mark.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwYrEgvjdn8?t=117s

I hope you enjoyed a good moment of avoidance while reading this post.  Has procrastination ever gotten you in trouble? Have you ever procrastinated and it ended up being one of the best things you could have done?

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